In this post: What I do to be my own best friend and 5 ways you can be YOUR own best friend and personal cheerleader!
Why is it important to be your own best friend?
Because YOU are the person that you spend the most time around and whose thoughts and feelings have the biggest effect on you.
How you talk to yourself is incredibly impactful.
Think about it: how you act towards yourself greatly affects how you feel about yourself. If you talk negatively towards yourself, you are tearing yourself down and over time you will feel less capable and less worthy.
Whereas on the flip side, if you talk to yourself positively like you would your best friend, then you are going to build yourself up and believe in yourself more and more.
I used to constantly tell myself that I wasn’t good enough, that I was stupid, that I was going to stuff up somehow and even question how anyone could love me. As a result I felt all of these things to my very core.
Thankfully, I was able to break free of this toxicity by making the decision to be kinder to myself and then taking steps to do this.
Beating myself up hadn’t made me happy, so it was time to try being my own best friend.
In this post, I want to share with you the 5 ways I am now my own best friend, so that you can apply them in your own life and become your own personal cheerleader too!
1. I use encouraging self-talk
Becoming mindful of how I talked to myself was one of THE MOST POWERFUL things that I changed. Instead of constantly abusing myself, I would catch myself and say something positive and encouraging instead.
And it worked.
I started to think better of myself. I felt more capable: like I could do things and like a mistake wasn’t the end of the world, it was just part of the process of living a full and meaningful life.
How you can apply this: Notice your self-talk and add in plenty of encouragement.
2. I give myself forgiveness
Part of thinking I was useless was having a ton of regrets. Regrets ranging from stuff-ups at work, saying something hurtful when I was upset, right down to the embarrassing stuff I’d done as a kid.
It all added up as evidence that I just couldn’t get it together.
But you know what? None of it really mattered.
Making mistakes is just a part of life. If you are living your life at all, you’re going to make mistakes. It’s part of learning – no one is a pro to start with – and it’s part of success, you have to move past the things that don’t work to find the things that do.
I forgave myself (and continue to forgive myself whenever I need!) and realised that those things are in the past.
How you can apply this: Forgive yourself for anything you see as a past mistake or regret and move on. Learn from your past and make the most of your future.
3. I see solutions rather than problems
If your best friend was facing a dilemma would you tell her to quit? To throw in the towel and stop reaching for her dreams?
No. Instead, you’d discuss what the situation was and help her to find a solution to keep moving forwards.
Do this for yourself as well. If something important is causing you unhappiness or unease in your life, brainstorm possible solutions rather than just accepting it and throwing your hands up in the air.
How you can apply this: Grab a pencil and notebook and write down possible solutions, how they could work and what you need to action to solve the problem.
4. I look after myself
You know what I have learnt? That if I don’t look after myself, I can’t be my best. If I’m tired, I make more mistakes. If I’m hungry, I can’t concentrate. If I’m thirsty, I feel sick. You get the idea.
It is in everyone’s favour if I do look after myself. I am healthier and can function so much better!
- Drink plenty of water
- Eat nourishing foods regularly throughout the day
- Find ways to sleep better so I’m well rested
- Exercise every day to feel healthy and energised
How you can apply this: Make looking after yourself non-negotiable. Even if you are busy, prioritise this, it makes such a difference! (And you ARE worth it!!)
5. I do something fun each day
Friends have fun together, right?!!
One of the reasons we love hanging around our friends so much is because they make things more fun. So, in the role of my own best friend, I encourage myself to include some fun in my days.
I think about the activities I enjoy and set aside some time for ‘fun play time’. Or, if time is tight, I’ll think how I could make a situation more fun and mix things up a little (5-minute dance session anyone?).
How you can apply this: Make a list of what you find fun to do and then choose something off your list each day!
I can say in all honesty that doing these things has massively helped me in being kinder to myself, feeling like I can achieve great things and feeling like I am worthwhile of love from myself and others.
Have they completely stopped my self abuse? I still feel some self-doubt from time to time (especially putting myself and my story out there on this blog), but the nasty, ongoing negativity towards myself is gone.
It did take time and practice, but it was definitely worth it!
Now I want you to give these 5 things a go! Why not commit to try out these actions for the next week and see how you feel?
(Heads up: it will probably take more than a week to become your own best friend, but a week is a good place to start.)
I’ve even created a checklist to help you do this! Grab it, along with access to all my other free resources, by entering your details below:
I’d love to know your thoughts on this post and what your biggest takeaway was, so hit me up with a comment below!